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Where’s the Disconnect?

October 23, 2015 by Honey Leveen Leave a Comment

DisconnectMuch of the legacy we leave may be measured by how honestly we’ve dealt with life’s most painful truths. Often, such truths are the most obvious, yet hardest to see clearly. 

I’ve seen a few hundred of my nearly 3,000 clients collect from policies I’ve sold them during the past 25+ years. This is just the tip of the iceberg, however; many more will need to collect from their LTCi as time goes on.

For different reasons, when a parent needs LTC, family members who’ve always gotten along well may find themselves at odds with each other. The absence of sufficient, readily available money to swiftly access long-term care (LTC) aggravates an already highly stressful situation.

What makes things so different for them for those who own LTCi is that their LTCi policies pay out significant, meaningful amounts of money when LTC is needed. This is often a huge game changer. LTCi tends to subdue emotional discord. Relationships don’t suffer as much, and outcomes are better. The money people collect from LTCi provides them with dignity, choices, access, and options they would not have otherwise had.

Sadly, most of us still do not own LTCi. Sadder still, it is too often well-educated people with good incomes and a whole lot to lose who choose to be unprepared for LTC.

Such people come up with what they think are fabulous excuses avoid discussing what might happen to them at the end of their lives. There seems to be a disconnect between our intellect and our emotions when it comes to LTC planning.

According to www.longtermcare.gov and other reputable sources, at age 65, there’s a 70% chance of needing LTC. These odds go up with each year we age. Visit Genworth’s Cost of Care Calculator to see just how expensive LTC is in your locale.

Most LTC in the US is provided on an unpaid basis, disproportionately by women, who often have to sacrifice their careers, savings, and relationships to provide care. LTC already costs American families dearly, yet the worst of this crisis is yet to come.

As former First Lady Rosalynn Carter said, “There are only four kinds of people in this world: those who have been caregivers, those who are caregivers, those who will be caregivers, and those who will need caregivers.”

Major Misconceptions About LTC and LTCi

Here are some simple responses to major misconceptions about LTC and LTCi. More complex answers are found on the Resources or LTCi FAQ pages of this site,  or by calling me, at no obligation:

  1. LTCi is too expensive. Not true. What may be expensive is needing LTC for anything but a short time and not owning LTCi. Policyholders usually collect back all premiums they’ve paid over the life of their policy in a few short months. Premiums are customized for each person and can be made to fit into almost anyone’s budget.
  2. The government pays for LTC. The type of LTC the government pays for is not what you would freely choose.
  3. Medicare covers LTC. No it doesn’t! Medicare covers acute medical problems and a restrictive, conditional amount of home or in-patient rehabilitative care that most people don’t qualify for.*
  4. The LTCi industry is threatened. It’s true that the number of carriers selling LTCi has shrunk; there are valid reasons. Policyholders are not in danger. LTCi carriers remain staunchly committed to the market. They realize the LTC crisis and oncoming Senior Tsunami isn’t going away any time soon, and are in it for the long run.
  5. LTCi only pays for nursing homes. The opposite is true. The great majority of LTCi policies pay comprehensively, for care at home, in adult day care, assisted living, and nursing homes. They enable you to increase the odds you will not need LTC provided in a nursing home.

Here are some of many silly excuses smart people give me to avoid conversing about LTCi while they’re healthy and can find reasonable premiums:

My wife will take care of me. Really? Your wife will be eager and physically capable of helping you bathe and dress, for example? You don’t mind the thought of her last memories being about the physical, emotional and financial burdens of caring for you?

That won’t happen to me. Really?

My kids will take care of me. Really?

I’ll kill myself.

I can’t afford LTCi. Many people claim LTCi is too expensive, despite the fact that we tailor LTCi premiums to fit into most people’s budgets. Situations like this one happen frequently: an acquaintance tells me she can’t afford LTCi premiums. This person’s mother needed LTC for an extended length of time, at great sacrifice to the family. A week later this person announces she is making a two week trip to Mt. Everest Base Camp/African photo safari/Tahiti or another exotic locale, or is buying a top-of-the-line car/kayak/audio equipment, etc. She has the money to do that but can’t afford LTC premiums. Where’s the disconnect?

Here’s another common scenario: I get incoming calls with Caller ID stating: “METHODIST HOSP RE-HAB”. The caller is the daughter or son of someone who’s just broken their hip or suffered a stroke. They ask me to come sell their parent LTCi. I have the unpleasant task of trying to tactfully explain that their parent is uninsurable. Sometimes the child is incensed by this news. I suggest the child is of ideal age to find reasonably priced LTCi for themselves; this might be a wise idea if they want to assure a similar scenario doesn’t play out when at the end of their lives. The child is normally not interested. The reason is that the family is in the worst kind of turmoil, duress, and dysfunction. They are scurrying around trying to cobble together LTC for their parent, and there isn’t sufficient, readily accessible money to pay for it. This is the scenario Dayna and I urge you to avoid by doing reasonable, responsible LTC planning, now.

What all of my LTCi clients have in common, regardless of their incomes, is the ability to honestly, openly discuss LTC in advance. Most of my clients have had firsthand experiences caring for someone who needed LTC. They’ve learned from them, and taken action to avoid the consequences of not being prepared for their own long-term care.

Filed Under: Denial, Elephant in the Room, Helpful Information About LTC, I'll Just Self-Insure, Information About LTC Tagged With: caregivers, Honey Leveen, Long Term Care insurance, ltc planning, LTCi, Medicaid, Medicare, Rosalynn Carter, Significant Benefits, www.honeyleveen.com

Take Responsibility, Folks!

December 2, 2013 by Honey Leveen Leave a Comment

Unhappy CaregiverThank you again, Dear Abby, for providing fodder for this blog.

When I read this recent column, written by a daughter whose mother is evidently in a Medicaid-paid nursing home and receiving less than respectful care,  I said to myself, “grow up; face the truth and don’t pawn the blame off on others.” The daughter’s sugary sweet letter smacks of the misguided denial I often see. It is cloaked in the daughter’s dysfunctional view of reality. The daughter aims her complaints at her mother’s caregivers, who are simply the most visible, yet non-responsible, cause.

As usual, Abby  does not address the actual problem, which is the public’s widespread avoidance of conversation and responsible planning for long-term care, well in advance. However, she did give a correct answer to the letter writer, which is, “don’t blame the messenger”! Abby also correctly noted that the caregiver is the lowest ranked, lowest-paid, least respected, and in the most understaffed area at the nursing home. These caregivers do their best. They often work two or more jobs, and really must have heart and soul to want to do this type of work. Don’t blame the caregiver for the low quality care you are nearly certain to receive in Medicaid-funded nursing homes.

Filed Under: Helpful Information About LTC, Information About LTC Tagged With: Dear Abby, Honey Leveen, LTC Insurance, ltc planning, LTCi, Medicaid, Nursing Homes, www.honeyleveen.com

Slapping the Houston Chronicle on Its Wrist

April 15, 2013 by Honey Leave a Comment

Slap On The WristI’ve just emailed these comments to LM Sixel, reporter for the Houston Chronicle, regarding her most recent article.

I continue to fight the good fight!

Hi LM,
We met at the Starbucks, Meyerland, some years ago. RE your March 20 story, its wonderful, but again, you are ignoring the 5000 lb elephant in the room: long-term care (LTC) costs and paying for the fine places Cindy described. BTW good assisted living costs a heck of a lot more than $2K/mo. You covered financing through Veterans, but no other financial options. A small fraction will be eligible for Veterans assistance. Why have you again ignored more mainstream ways to finance highly probable, expensive LTC events?

I understand this whole area might be daunting and a learning curve for you, but your readers need information on how to pay for LTC. Journalists in the key papers in NYC, Chicago, LA, etc have all written about responsible LTC planning. It is an under-covered area that must be dealt with. Many Americans will be in woeful situations because they, like you, are sweeping the LTC planning conversation under the carpet. We’ve had no decent coverage of LTC planning in The Chronicle!

I can help you acquire your LTC learning curve in the most expeditious way possible, I promise! I know everyone who is anyone in the LTC planning industry nationwide. I can also help you bite off the interest areas in tasty morsels. You would be doing your readers a good service.

I hope you will take heed; the time is right and it is the right thing to do.

Sincere regards,
Honey Leveen 713 988 4671 or cell 713 447 6197

Filed Under: Helpful Information About LTC, I'll Just Self-Insure, Information About LTC Tagged With: LM Sixel, LTC Insurance, ltc planning, the houston chronicle

A Life Worth Ending – Part II

June 11, 2012 by Honey Leave a Comment

In my prior blog, I described the May 28, 2012 New York Magazine headline story, “A Life Worth Ending“, a poignant and compelling piece about a woman who should be allowed to die, yet cannot.

Here is a re-print of the letter I’ve just sent to this article’s author, Michael Wolff:

June 11, 2011

Dear Mr. Wolff,

Thank you for your brilliant, poignant, soul-baring article in the May 28, 2012, edition of NY Magazine.

Everything in your article is factual and realistic, except for your flimsy rationale leading to your decision against owning long-term care insurance (LTCi).

Here are some rational admissions: “Not only do I have the cash (although not enough to self-finance my decline)..,” “The costs for my mother…who, for the past eighteen months…has not been able to…address her most minimal needs…come in at about $17,000/month.”

Eighteen months times $17,000 equals $306,000 that she has incurred in long-term care costs so far. You thank your mother for purchasing LTCi and state how well it has contributed to her high care costs. After providing readers with evidence and probabilities, you convince yourself that you will not wind up in a similar situation. This makes no sense to me.

By your description, your mother should have, or could have started collecting from her LTC insurance three years ago, after she fell. You go on to describe in detail your denial and failure to recognize the severity of her needs earlier on. You like dwelling in denial!

I can’t tell the date your mother had the surgery that put her into “stark and dramatic post-operative decline” and cognitive “free fall.” It is clear to me that even before this catastrophic downturn, your mother collected significantly more from her LTCi than she paid into it. In addition, and equally or more importantly, her LTCi has afforded your family improved options and been an emotional blessing to you, your siblings, and your children.

Prior to her surgery you describe your mother as being muddled and gently sinking. After the surgery you describe her as being “reduced to a terrified creature.” Many of us favor legislating more individual control over dying and more dignified deaths. However, according to your narrative, until your mother’s surgically induced rapid decline, it does not sound like she experienced the tragic “disquiet…bewilderment and resignation” and unmitigated anger you describe.

In other words, prior to her surgery, although she needed care for some time, it appears that she had some quality of life. Even if improved options for death were available, it doesn’t sound to me like she was ready to “pull the plug” and trigger a “do-it-yourself exit strategy” at that point.

You close your article stating you will, “be trying to work out the timing and details of a do-it-yourself exit strategy. As should we all.” This is an excellent way to end your article, Mr. Wolff, but this is off-the-deep-end irrational, and not even an original cop-out.

I don’t understand how someone as highly educated, eloquent, and well-informed as you can describe the high odds and costs involved with long-term care, tell readers you have the income to afford LTCi, describe the financial and emotional benefits LTCi ownership has brought to your family, and then make such a flimsy and irrational excuse not to buy it.

If you have the gradual decline you describe, like so many of us healthy, educated, compliant, long-lived people will, and do not own LTCi, your kids may not be very appreciative when they wind up with major, instead of minor caregiving roles, disrupted lives, or money-hemorrhaging induced resentment towards each other. All of this would be largely avoidable with responsible LTC planning, not flimsy excuses.

I question why your premiums were quoted at $5,000/year. Even in NYC, where care costs are much higher than in other parts of the country, there should be plenty of lower cost LTCi premium options for you. Perhaps your flimsy, irrational excuse not to buy LTCi was merely a reaction to the premium quote. In addition, you describe you live with someone. Enough of the excellent LTCi carriers may grant you hefty full or partial spousal discounts, even if you are not married.

Sincerely,

Honey Leveen, LUTCF, CLTC, LTCP

Filed Under: Denial, Helpful Information About LTC, Information About LTC Tagged With: Honey Leveen, Long Term Care insurance, LTC Insurance, ltc planning, Michael Wolff, New York Magazine, www.honeyleveen.com, www.ltcqueen.com

“Life Is What Happens to You While You’re Busy Making Other Plans” (John Lennon)

May 21, 2012 by Honey Leave a Comment

“Joanne and Everett Parhiala had a plan. They would move from the Lexington house where they had raised their three children to a smaller Boston condo. Then, Joanne, 53, and Everett, 57, would work for a few more years before settling into retirement in the city.” (Aging parents add to retirement planning challenge. Boston Globe, May 21, 2012)   

Sadly,  their plans were derailed. The Parhialas instead began looking for a larger house in which to care for Joanne’s aging father and developmentally disabled brother.  

As I have said repeatedly in this blog, the need for long-term care (LTC) can have a staggering emotional, physical and financial impact on the lives of families. This couple’s retirement plans were radically interrupted by unplanned parental caregiving duties. This unplanned interruption most likely not have occurred if the parents had done reasonable and responsible LTC planning when they were able to.  OR if Joanne and her husband had had a frank discussion with their parents about LTC insurance years ago and, if necessary, helped cover the cost of the premiums for their parents.  

 

Filed Under: Denial, Helpful Information About LTC, I'll Just Self-Insure, Information About LTC Tagged With: Boston Globe, Information About LTC, LTC Insurance, ltc planning

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Open Quotation Mark"Honey - Whenever I need a clarification regarding our “LTC” you are “Johnny on the spot” responding in a very prompt manner, reassuring me, informing me in a concise way, patient with me as I massage the understanding in my own words. Your knowledge is current and expressed with confidence, offered in your conscientious and upbeat personality. Quotation Mark ClosedIt is a pleasure to work with you. Thank you for your expertise." ~ Nancy Damon, Houston, TX
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Honey Leveen, LUTCF, CLTC, LTCP
“The Queen, by Self-Proclamation, of Long-Term Care Insurance (LTCi)”
404 Royal Bonnet
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Phone: 713-988-4671
Fax: 281-829-7177

Email: honey@honeyleveen.com

Email: honey@honeyleveen.com

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