Elephant in the Room Archives - Page 3 of 18 - Long Term Care Insurance Expert | Honey Leveen

There’s No Planning Without Communication

July 22, 2019 by Honey Leveen Leave a Comment

Communication is one of the most important factors in any significant relationship, right? And yet it is usually absent or at least faulty when it comes to sharing important information about health and finances. Sometimes the parents hide information from their children or the kids keep details from their parents. Or spouses feel the need to protect one another from the truth of their declining health.

In a recent issue of the newsletter published by the Society of Actuaries, I read an article written by my friend and colleague, Eileen Tell. Tell is an academic and a researcher. Her article is based on findings from research she conducted for the Office of the Assistant Secretary of Planning and Evaluation (ASPE), part of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

In the article, Tell summarizes observations from consumer focus groups conducted as part of that study, intended to better understand a family’s search process for long term care services. The findings of the study support the same experiences I observe among my own clients.

“A common theme heard in all the groups was the lack of awareness of the decline in either physical or cognitive health of their loved one until this acute episode occurred.” By shielding family members from important facts, most are caught by surprise when there is a sudden decline in their health.

In many cases, it takes a major event to trigger family involvement. A fall, sudden illness, a stroke, or the unexpected need for a new primary caregiver. Family members find themselves unprepared to manage the important decisions that require immediate answers.

Communication Has To Happen

George Bernard Shaw wrote, “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” You may wish that it happened. You may even think you were clear. But until all parties have the details and understand the situation, there’s no way you can properly prepare.

The study groups reveal the same patterns I see with my clients:

A lack of awareness of the decline in their loved one, until an acute episode occurred.
Aging parents typically shield their adult children from the realities of their limitations.
Where mom or dad ultimately winds up receiving care is very much a function of finances.

Sometimes, family members begin to address the sensitive subject of long term care, only to be met with silence, half-answers or a complete change of subject. Especially when it came to talking about paying for that care.

This type of denial is so widespread, that I’ve written many dozens of blogs about it.

I will never understand why people elect to re-act, rather than pro-act. I’ve seen many people who could have afforded long term care insurance (LTCi), but they refused to consider it. As if the very conversation was more taboo than their actual future without plans. LTCi can help cover a lot of future costs. Some often include care coordinators, too.

For my clients, LTCi is often transformative, a game-changer. This makes my career career hugely satisfying.

It’s rare to find families who are composed, level-headed and functional when long term care is needed. One thing should be obvious, though. When someone buys LTCi, they are stacking the deck in their favor that their future will unfold in a more dignified, graceful, considerate and affordable lifestyle.

Click here to receive your free, no-obligation quote for your customized long term care policy.

Bringing Joy to Dementia

July 17, 2019 by Honey Leveen Leave a Comment

Dr. Patricia (Tia) Powell has a new book, “Dementia Reimagined“. In this refreshing piece of work, Dr. Powell, director of the Montefiore Einstein Center for Bioethics, shares her experiences with dementia as both caregiver to her mother and physician to her aging patients. Abundantly qualified and credentialed, she finds herself in the unique position to discuss the possibility of joy, dignity and hope while dealing with dementia.

Terry Gross, host of the NPR podcast Fresh Air, had an excellent conversation with Powell. They delve into Powell’s experiences and her outlook for the future of treating dementia patients. You can listen to the podcast yourself (or read the transcript) here.

“Figuring out how to communicate better, how to listen better to people with dementia while they can speak and even potentially afterward to figure out, what could I do? What actually would be helpful, not from my point of view but from yours? What actually would make things better?”

In this poignant interview, they discuss the various tolls that dementia takes on the person. It’s not just memory loss. It can also include depression or anxiety. It’s a disease of the brain, so it also involves loss of “executive function”. That means that making the simplest decisions or even organizing the natural flow of tasks can be daunting. And frustrating.

Managing Dementia With Joy

Dr. Powell views caregiving and dementia through both a medical and a personal lens. My relationship with dementia patients is as their insurance agent, helping them manage their long term care. It’s reassuring that Dr. Powell and I share perspectives on how to optimize the patient’s experience.

During her interview, Dr. Powell offers sound advice on how families can make the most out of a dementia diagnosis. She often uses music as a real comfort to many of her patients. For some reason, the memories we hold from certain songs manages to hold up over time, even in the throes of dementia.

ProTip: Many professionals recommend making a playlist of your favorite songs NOW, while you can think of those chestnuts that light up your heart and bring a smile to your face. They’ll be such a source of joy for you in your later years.

She also suggests other hobbies like gardening might hold the key to reconnecting the patient to activities they once enjoyed.

Powell also shares her thoughts on why keeping the dementia patient at home is not always the best choice. Followers of this blog know that I’ve written about this often over the years. It’s always affirming to hear the experts supporting my views!

At about the 30-minute mark of the podcast, Dr. Powell does a great job explaining what Medicare and Medicaid pays for, and why neither will pay for the type of long term care a dementia patient requires. If you’re like most Americans, her description will clear up many confusing questions you might have.

Manage the Fear with Planning

Dr. Powell stated people are more fearful of getting Alzheimer’s disease and other dementias than they are about getting cancer. I have to agree with this.

While there is no cure for dementia, we can take steps to plan for the best possible care if and when we need it. Make your playlist. Tell your children about your love of gardening or old movies. And click here to receive your free, no-obligation quote for long term care insurance.

Your Wealth Won’t Protect You From Fraud and Financial Abuse

July 15, 2019 by Honey Leveen Leave a Comment

Many people have a fond place in their hearts for the art of Peter Max. A symbol of the hippie counterculture in the 1960s and 1970s, Max’s work holds prized locations on the walls of collectors around the world. Now in his later years, Peter Max has fallen victim to dementia. His wealth nor his notoriety can protect him from the financially abusive situation he has landed in.

The courts are still sorting out the details of this twisted tale. Including lots of finger-pointing between his second wife, Mary Max (who died from suicide in June 2019), his son, Adam, and his daughter, Libra, along with the various lawyers, agents and guardians who were supposedly protecting Peter Max and his valuable business.

His Wealth Declined With His Health

The current state of Max’s condition is revealed in this article in the New York Times (May 28, 2019). The writer describes his lavish lifestyle and the popularity of his artwork. She also reports on the financial losses of his business and the questionable source of it’s latest recovery.

In 2012, Max’s health had rapidly declined and the dementia had taken a firm hold. Max was unable to work and finances suffered. The business, ALP Inc., defaulted on $5.4 million in bank loans. In exchange for half of his ownership in ALP, Max hired Lawrence Moscowitz, an insurance agent, to help breathe new life into the failing company. Moscowitz, in turn, appealed to Max’s estranged son, Adam, to actively manage the daily operations.

The revived business plan includes the hiring of “an expanding cast of artists to mimic Mr. Max’s more commercial work. In the acrylic-spattered space above the Chinese restaurant, according to seven people who have seen it, there were as many as 18 assistant painters…”

In six years, ALP transitioned from near-bankruptcy to generating over $93 million in sales. This is largely due to the aggressive exploitation of Peter Max’s reputation and his artistic style being sold as originals to unsuspecting consumers.

Where Was His Plan?

Peter Max’s business is now out of his hands, both artistically and financially. His family dynamics have deteriorated with the fight for guardianship between his wife and his children. Much of this could have been avoided by some thoughtful, advance planning and documentation. He could easily have provided for a formal succession plan. He could have selected his own guardian to look out for his interests in his later years.

Wealth is no protection against this type of failure. Oftentimes, the wealth only makes the fall more newsworthy. Stories about people protected from future illness by their long term care planning just don’t make the news.

You can take steps today to protect your future quality of life. Click here to receive your free, no-obligation quote for long term care insurance.

Falling to Your Death

July 8, 2019 by Honey Leveen Leave a Comment

Falls are the #1 cause of long term care need. They are typically a result of decreased body strength, balance issues, vision problems, home hazards or foot pain. Usually it’s a combination of two or more of these factors.

As we age, falls become more complicated to bounce back from. While most falls don’t lead to permanent injury, one out of five do result in serious injury, like broken bones which don’t heal as well or brain trauma.

Falling By the Numbers

In 2017, unintentional falls led to over 36,000 deaths in the US.
The National Council on Aging reports, “Every 11 seconds, an older adult is treated in the emergency room for a fall; every 19 minutes, an older adult dies from a fall.”
One in three adults over 50 years of age dies within 12 months of suffering a hip fracture.
For older adults, the risk of a hip fracture leading to death is 5 – 8 times higher. Death can occur as quickly as 3 months after suffering the fracture.

What’s Behind the Falls?

The National Council on Aging explains how preventable most of these accidental deaths are. So if we have the means to avoid the injuries, why are they continuing to happen more frequently?

In my experience, many fall-related deaths are caused because people fail to accept the fact that they need to slow down and/or need help in their simple, daily tasks. They shrug off stumbles or occasional falls as “part of getting old”. As their needs rise, they continue to deny their declining capacity. As if this denial of reality will postpone the worsening of their situation!

I see this in my new community at Shell Point Retirement Community and, I must admit, I expected my neighbors to be more in touch with the reality of their true needs. We live in an environment where the full spectrum of care is available and paid for. And that level of care is above average.

I have a neighbor who resists using her walker even though she admits to having great difficulty with her arthritis. She admits to her difficulties with opening jars and dressing herself because of her arthritis. And there are many similar examples of this “head in the sand” avoidance.

The simplest way to reduce falls is to be brutally honest about your actual need and circumstances, and then taking the appropriate action. People evidently have huge difficulty doing this.

Denial of the facts is something I’ve written about extensively. I understand that resisting the truth of our declining health is part of our survival instinct (or maybe just our ego?). It’s just a shame that so many intelligent people are unable to override this instinct more often.

In doing so, they may suffer the ultimate consequence.

Take the first step to proactively plan for your future care and well being. Click here to receive your free, no-obligation quote for long term care insurance.

The Best Surprise is What CCRC’s Don’t Pitch In Sales Presentations

April 3, 2019 by Honey Leveen 6 Comments

Jim and I have now lived in Shell Point Retirement Community (SPRC) a little over a month. Shell Point is a CCRC (Continuing Care Retirement Community).

I am still working, so please do not hesitate to call me for any help you may need or with questions you may have!

This first month flew by in a dizzying flash, as you can imagine. Our new home still needs work, but happily, we’re on the tail end of settling in and I can resume blogging.

This was an exceptionally well-thought-out move. I have researched and understood the complete long-term care continuum for the past thirty years. Not only has it been my job — it’s been my passion.

The warm welcome and continued staff support we receive has been extraordinary. So much so, in fact, that it deserves a separate blog post, so stay tuned.

It feels absolutely liberating to have downsized! I highly recommend it. Now we own our stuff, our stuff doesn’t own us.

But this post isn’t about the exceptional “resident first” employee culture they have here, or the huge merits of downsizing.

The inspiration for this piece, what they don’t fully describe during sales presentations, is the unexpected impact of increased Social Capital.

The Value of Social Capital

I anticipated that our sense of well-being and overall happiness would increase when we got here, but I never could have imagined by how much. Now I know a lot of the reason why: it’s the increased Social Capital that is at the core of this particular CCRC.

My discovery of Social Capital led to Robert D. Putnam’s acclaimed book “Bowling Alone“. Mr. Putnam’s research documents how the decline of social capital since 1950 has led to more divorce, anxiety, suicide, cynicism, resignation, “compartmentalized” belief systems and lives, distrust, and depression.

In his blog, noted therapist Joe Whitcomb describes the decline of social capital this way: “Today, society and people are more isolated, alienated and disconnected than ever before in all of history… We are more globally connected by technology but even more alone.”

While living in Houston, I knew hundreds, if not thousands of people. It was a lot of fun to walk into Rotary, be recognized and feel loved. But this alone is not all that’s needed for feeling increased security and belonging.

We had a beautiful home for eighteen years, yet we rarely interacted with our neighbors. I always found this troubling. They had their own obligation-laden, busy lives and concerns, and so did we. We usually just smiled and waved as we drove past in our “hermetically sealed” cars. We didn’t know much about each other’s lives even though we lived a few feet apart.

Howdy, Neighbor!

In my new community, people walk by all day long. We often stop and chat, or at least smile and greet every passerby. The post office, salon, fitness center, medical center, and restaurants are all within an easy 3-5 minute walk. Walking gets us out where we see, greet and socialize with others, truly connecting with our neighbors.

It is not necessary to share belief systems or have much in common with neighbors to achieve increased Social Capital, a sense of connection, the feeling that you matter. Even the shortest of social exchanges gives me a happiness “ping” that feels like an endorphin release.

24/7 healthcare, enriching activities, and an engaging lifestyle are available here. But maybe the largest “plus” (and our greatest surprise) is the increased Social Capital. This affirms that our shared human need is to create peaceful, joyful homes and community. This is easily achieved by developing this all-important social capital.

Are you wondering if you can afford this upgrade to your own quality of living? Click here to receive your own complimentary, no-obligation quote for long-term care insurance coverage.

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